Exposed! An inside look at Santa's operations - Part 3
December 14, 2021
Santa's Helper: Mobile Inspection Apps
After these insights into Santa’s operations, we were at first horrified, but then compelled to try to help. So, in the spirit of Christmas giving, we are offering this personal, heartfelt appeal to the Jolly Old Elf himself to get back on track: mobile field inspection apps. We know you don’t like new-fangled gadgets and are suspicious of anything that isn’t made of wood or frosting, but hear us out. If you had mobile field apps, you could:
Make a list, check it twice. Have regular inspections of your facilities throughout the world to ensure that equipment is maintained, factory and floor conditions are safe, and the security measures in place are operational, reducing or even eliminating accidents and outside threats.
Send out advance guards. Deploy a pre-scope team to every house on Santa’s list to report back on roof and chimney conditions, not to mention whether family members are asleep. With location-aware apps, your field elves will be able to collect precise data linked to each house so you're never surprised by a clogged chimney, an excited toddler, or a mommy hoping for a smooch under the mistletoe. You could even make time for a quick field test of cookies to ensure they don’t contain any illicit substances, so you can munch with confidence.
Revolutionize elves on the shelf. With field inspection apps like the one shown, elves would be given clear directions and checklists for children’s deeds, both good and bad, ensuring consistent grading from house to house, and elf to elf. Supervisors back at the workshop would also be able to easily check in on elves’ locations and even watch as they do their work to ensure that every elf is doing his or her job without taking time off to party with Barbie. Finally, gone would be the days where an elf would have to end his exhausting day of spying with a quick trip to the North Pole to give a report. With field inspection apps, the data would be uploaded and shared in real-time with any supervisor or Santa himself for quick cataloguing of naughtiness and niceness, along with available powerful custom reports to swiftly determine whether a kid deserves a PS5, or a lump of reindeer poo.
Seriously, Santa, hit us up – between a small percentage of your Coca-Cola commercial rights and a good word for the nice list, we’re sure we can work something out.
Happy holidays from all of us at Fulcrum… and to all a good night!
And, in case you missed the first two installments, check them out at: